To: Single Mom By Choice

Your hate for men is not going to serve your children any good, there have been plenty of singled women who choose to separate their children from their biological fathers, and in the end, the mother is loathed by her children as being selfish, conceited and bitter. I’m not sure if a man had done anything wrong to you, but pushing your bitter feeling for men on your children to such an extent that you buy their very lives from companies, and pay for their fathers to never meet them is absolutely selfish and cruel. Teaching them that men are rapists, and aren’t as good parents as mothers, will not only brainwash them into a completely delusional way of thinking, it will completely destroy their chances of ever having a stable healthy relationship with any man who crosses their path, (I’m speaking for your daughters). For your sons, you’d be teaching them to hate themselves, and you’d be disabling their chances of growing up and making a connection with a lifelong male mentor. A male mentor who can teach them about treating their mother, their sisters and future wives with respect and dignity, to dismiss the rap culture and listen to real music, and how to treat their own children when they become fathers themselves. How can you possible think it’s ok to rob them from this experience from your personal hatred for men–who very well happen to be your own father and forefathers, and quite possible your own child?

I hope you change and see past yourself, perhaps if marriage or a relationship isn’t possible at least re-consider co-parenting.

While you contemplate, here are some excerpts from a essay written by a man who was raised by a singled-mother-by-choice:

…My name is Edgar van de Giessen. I am 45 years old and I am the son of one of the former leading feminists in Holland in the seventies of the last century. My mother was the first woman to receive the Harriet Freezer Award, given out by your organization Opzij for outstanding feminist activism…

….When my mother was giving her feministic lectures and tirades to me as a boy, she never felt once, in all those years, how her words and energies were landing in her own son. Personal love transacts through the ability to feel what the other person is feeling while (s)he is feeling it. The emotional wounding that my mother gave me did not come only from her words, but also in her not-feeling how her words impacted me as a little boy. In these ways, my mother had her own emotional wounding that turned her into a proudly man-hating, feministic unfeeling woman whose antipathy against men in ways supported by your organization turned in me as a hate against myself and against women….

…I would like you to imagine how it is for an growing boy in the age of ten to hear every day from his mother that men are the cause of all trouble in the world, that men are guilty of all crime and war and repression in the world, that all men should be castrated after their semen has been deep-frozen to ensure the existence of the next generation, that men should live in different cities than women, so that they could all kill each other and so solve the problem of their own existence….

–> http://brightage.net/storage/articles/son-of-a-feminist.html

Remember to be empathetic, remember to put yourself in your children’s shoes.

Peace.