Raised by a single mother

I am African woman and just to say,as kids we never question our parents.

I was raised by a good woman,who gave up her life for me and today I am one of the youngest entrepreneur with 2 awards. I read every story here and it’s made me ask myself if what I want to embark on is the best. I am presently looking for a donor,my doctor is advise I seek for co-parenting.

My worries:
It was horrible growing up without a father,I don’t want to bring a child into this world denialing them the chance to know where there come from or go thru what I went thru.

I must have spoken more to a stranger then to my birth father when I met him,I hate him and it made me sick,I am very gentle by nature and don’t have a wicked bone in my body but the day I met my birth father I wanted to hit him and ask him why he abandoned me.
Hes so proud of me but I feel like shouting on top of my voice and telling the whole world he’s just full of sh*t

I know how most people feel here,I knew him when I clocked 19,I grew up fast,having to care for my mom and the family.

How do I not pass this life to my unborn child.

Marriage is not an option, I do not want to.

Please advice