Dear IP,

It seems as though you have thought this out very well, but I must caution you: as a donor conceived child who was told of her conception after completing graduate school at 26, it was just as devastating as it would have been had I been told earlier. Despite having been well adjusted and mature, this shook me to my core and although you’re preaching being wanted and accepted, you are perpetuating the negative stigma by wishing to keep this a secret and putting the owness on the future child or children to cope and explain your actions. Often I wonder if my parents made this decision for their own selfish desires to have a child or because they wanted to make a child’s world a better place- yet I’m pretty sure one precedes the other. My hope is that you find the peace and love you are seeking but buyer beware: your future child/children may disrupt that idealism and no matter how well your raise them and how perfect their childhood is, prepare for the worst when you do choose to reveal their truth to them.